Sounds and Thoughts

There has been two constants in my life only, one is the reproduction of sounds in my head, the other is the reproduction on thoughts in my head.

Since I remember I always knew, met and discovered the world through my ears, and a little through processing ideas constantly in my head.

Until today there's still a queston in my head about why I didn't dedicate my life to music. Why? I still haven't figured it out. What I did do was to develop a high sensibility to music, to sounds in general: voices, languages, music.

Basically what I heard, was constantly repeated in my head; what I read, was constantly repeated and re processed in my head too. This "feature" brought me both happiness and disgrace.

On one hand I can feel amazing things out of music, some times I even have felt shivers running through my body as I hear a concert. On the other side, I have had trouble controlling my mind all the time. These thoughts became so loud and constant that I find myself sometimes thinking too much, to the point where my emotions and personality change as a result of this maelstrom of thoughts.

Recently I realized it is mandatory for me to follow a technique to learn to control my own mind. My mind became a hellhound that sabotages me at times, yet I still feel a creative part striking to get out.
          Me.